Anderson Cooper Disappoints

OK, so it may be totally true that Ali Lohan looks "more like she's 60" than 14, but did this superstar CNN news anchor and reluctant homo role model have to insult the poor girl on national television? Even Kelly Ripa has more sense than that!



Seriously, if A.C. had seen us when we were fourteen and told the world (accurately, mind you) that we were a fatass, pizzafaced freak with pregnant woman stretch marks, we would have been found dead that very day, an empty box of Dramamine in one hand and a tear-smudged printout of AndyCoo in the other. Dreams dashed!

Anderson, you disappoint us. This is no way for a dignified silver fox to act. Is this the beginning of your transition to "Best Week Ever" commentator on VH1? Or Fox News?

For shame, for shame...

P.S. Anderson does redeem himself in this video by saying "I love LEATHUH!"

Perez Hilton Effs Michael Buble: WTF?!

Forget work. This is Not Safe For Human Eyes.

Isn't it romantic?? Answer: HELLZ NO!

Above, Perez Hilton engages in lascivious and probably illegal activity with Michael Buble.

Michael Buble is kind of cute and stylish, but sort of a D-listed. Perez Hilton is extremely not cute or stylish, and became an A-lister by making fun of A-to-Z-listers. Apparently Michael Buble is trying to F his way up the list by bending over for Perez.

Seriously, Mikey, you're a little chubby, but surely you could bang Ian McKellan or something instead? He's cute, in a grandfatherly imp kind of way, and he's got more staying power than Perez.

Oh well. We dub the couple Perezelbub, after Beelzebub. Because this just ain't right.