So.
The creative genius that is Bravo's "Make Me A Supermodel" is wrapping up, and left us with...
This.
Where the hell is RuPaul when you need her? Bravo seriously missed an opportunity here that you know Tyra Banks would have exploited to its comic potential. This is why ANTM will still be "cycling" when people are having this conversation:
"Hey, remember that supermodel show on Bravo?"
"Top Chef?"
"No, the modeling one."
"Project Runway?"
"No, the show with the models."
"America's Next Top Model? That's not on Bravo."
"Never mind."
"Yeah."
Yeah. Sorry, Perry, but this is not hot.
But it's not your fault. This look is someone's idea of "water." Really. If this show comes back, we hope it has better creative direction. Tyson and Nicki need to just sit there and look pretty. No more input.
This is Ben's last shoot:
Notice how his Cro Magnon face is totally obscured by this sheer black sheet.
Notice how it's his best picture ever.
Notice how he got the most compliments...on his body.
It is a pretty hot body. They'll love it back in prison.
Speaking of which, whatever happened to his wife? Whatever happened to his Ronnie romance? Whatever happened to...oh, who cares?
The reason this show infuriates me is because of its total editorial inconsistence. Haven't the producers learned anything about reality TV after all these years? When you create a character out of someone, you're supposed to at least try to be consistent throughout the season.
But remember Jackie? During the casting show, she was the best walker, the hottest, the most professional. She was still the best model in the second show, but she refused to wear a thong because of moral reasons. (A moral model? A model who refuses to wear a thing? WTF?) Then, two episodes later she posed naked. Then the former most professional and experienced was a bad walker, and she was farting on camera and screaming at everyone. Was this all the same person, really? Was this...oh, who cares?
That's the thing. I just don't care. But let's look at more hotness...
Ever notice how much better Ben looks the farther away he gets? That's hot.
Ben waves bye-bye as his soulless model self fades away into nothingness.
Goodbye fifteen minutes! Hello, prison!
One of the judges--the one with the creepy fixation on 19-year-old Casey's pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking face--called Ronnie "King of the Wood." Bravo's gay viewers clearly agree, as their woodies keep voting this pretty boy back week after week, even after the judges' insistence that he's. Not. A. Supermodel.
*Pout*
*Strut*
Ronnie is so cute.
Ronnie is so gay.
Ronnie is so Dream Date.
I may be in love with Ronnie, despite hating this show.
But I still wouldn't put him on my runway, unless I was doing some kind of boarding school theme.
I'd totally buy a Falcon video starring him, though.
In full disclosure, I don't *hate* Make Me A Supermodel. It's been entertaining and all, but disappointing, and here's why:
Holly is hot.
Holly is red hot.
Holly is fierce in a couture dress made just for her, courtesy of Project Runway winner Christian Siriano.
Holly, basically, is flawless.
Holly, basically, is a supermodel.
But she doesn't stand a chance. Because this show is on Bravo, and she's too--well, let's be honest, she's too female to win a modeling show.
No matter how perfect she has been (and she has been perfect), and regardless of possibly being five pounds heavier than a typical high-fashion model, she is clearly the deserving winner of this show.
Of all the modeling shows on TV, this young woman has more potential to be a "supermodel" or "top model" than anyone else. But she's not going to win. Even though she deserves to.
We're hoping Bravo's viewers--or, as the network likes to refer to them, "America"--will choose Holly. We're hoping they will prove us wrong. But we have a feeling "America" will choose Ronnie, because the gay guys who watch Bravo don't really want a supermodel; they want a Dream Date.
Oh well. There's always next cycle.
