It's HUGE!!!

Hey, people, listen up.  This has been bugging me for months now and it's time somebody said something.

See this word: H-U-G-E?  It's HUGE.  HYOOGE.  NOT "yooge."  

Lately it seems like everyone is overusing the word "huge," and that these people are mispronouncing it as "yooge."  Guess what.  If you're falling into this linguistic trend, you are no better than Madonna and her fake-ass British accent.

Stop it.   Now.

At The End Of The Day...

At the end of the day, you floss, brush your teeth, wash your face, and go to bed. Some people may shake up this routine by walking their dogs, watching Letterman, drinking a forty, whacking off a few times and laying out tomorrow's clothes for another day of corporate hell...but at the end of the day, that's really all that happens.

We are sick of hearing people say this phrase before just about every other sentence:

"At the end of the day, George Bush is on his way out."
"At the end of the day, gay porn is way better than straight porn."
"At the end of the day, exiled Liberian Former President Charles Taylor is just misunderstood."

ENOUGH!!! It's time to cut this out!! What, really, does "at the end of the day" add to anything that anybody ever says? We know what it means: the same thing as those tired cliches "in the end," and "the bottom line is..." but this one is so much more overused and so much more annoying.

Days come. Days go. At the end of the day, the more often you use this phrase, the more people secretly want to kill you. And at the end of the day, you really don't want that, do you?

It Isn't What It Is.

Today we're starting a regular new series of commentary on what pisses us off about the way people talk. Why? Because we constantly hear people repeat annoying cliches that have no real meaning, and we think people should start thinking about the words that just fall out of their mouths. Yesterday, for example, on the way back from the Metro after our THIRTEEN HOUR workday, we walked by a couple, the female half of whom we overheard saying, "But she has such a big heart. She's all heart. My heart really goes out to her."

BLAGH! Every one of those sentences is basically meaningless. Our heart goes out to the unthinking young lady.

So to begin, we're going to attack one of the most prevalent offenders of our day:

"It is what it is."

WHAT IS IT?! And what isn't? This is probably the dumbest cliche that's ever been coined and picked up so quickly. We hear it in our office at least a dozen times a day. It is what it is. But what it is is a waste of words. Is there any point in repeating this phrase? Really, what are you saying when you say this? This phrase is usually said when something frustrating comes up that can't be changed, or when something is status quo. It's like "oh, well," but about a thousand times more annoying. It is what it is is redundant and pointless, and it is something we ask you to think about when you are tempted to say it. Make the world a better place, and when this idiotic phrase starts to roll of your tongue, pause and ask yourself what you're really saying, and say that instead.

Allow us to suggest some alternatives:

You want to say: You should say instead:

It is what it is. I am so frustrated.
It is what it is. Do you think there's any way we can fix this?
It is what it is. There's got to be a better way.
It is what it is. Get used to it.
It is what it is. She's a bitch/He's an asshole and it's not going to change.
It is what it is. You're dying.
It is what it is. You're not hot anymore.
It is what it is. No, there's no cure for herpes/genital warts.

Stay tuned for more attacks on the dumb things thoughtless people say.