Madonna's New Face(lift)

If New York magazine were a living, breathing human being, it would be the out-and-proud and gloriously vicious megabitch that Anderson Cooper shows he has the potential to be.

And that is why New York is the best magazine ever!!

This week's issue features a close-up shot of Madonna's face--the face of "The New New Face."

What's the New New Face, you ask? Check out the pictures below. The mauled and mangled lips of former natural(?) beauties Melanie Griffith and Meg Ryan, and the drag queenish mugs of Cher and Faye Dunaway that we've come to love, represent the Old New Face. In other words, scary shit.



The New New Face, you see, is the face of Demi Moore (pristine!) and Michelle Pfeiffer (perfect!). What's that, you say? Demi's freshness isn't due to boinking an idiotic 20-something? Nope. It's thirty thousand dollars worth of slicing and dicing and injecting and zapping. And it's totally worth it if those are the results. Natural? Hardly. But as the article says, while these ladies don't look exactly just a few years younger, they at least "bear striking resemblances to themselves."



The big question: Will this work for guys? We'll just have to wait a few years and see how Ryan Seacrest and the Coopster look with puffy, peaked cheekbones and supple lips.

NYmag

Ryan Seacrest Finally Comes Out!

...in support of...Scope mouthwash!

Umm...okay?

In a seriously weird partnership with a seriously weird corporate explanation, "He's known to keep a travel- size bottle of Scope in his glove compartment and his name is Ryan Seacrest, so it was really only a matter of time before he partnered with Crest and Scope."

So there ya go. Next time you see Seacrest whoring out his fake smile on American Idol and E! News Daily, you'll know what fluids he was just swishing in his mouth and spitting. Scope, of course.

(Above, our friend John Stamos (See video entry, 6/27/07) strips for Seacrest.)

Niiiiiiiiiice.