Sunday, September 16, 2007

Big Brother: Dick Style

So now that the obvious is a matter of fact, and CBS has successfully fulfilled its totally fake story arc of reunited ASSHOLE father and daughter Dick and Daniele Donato, let's examine Dick's style, for he surely has some. But...what do we think of it?

His look is totally Hollywood music scene--circa 1988, but timeless. You spot this guy on the street, and you assume all of these things:

  1. He's always wanted to be a rock star.

  2. He wants to look like the devil, but a certain type of devil. The kind that lives in Hollywood proper. The kind that spreads terror through the world by way of loud, superficially dark music and sexually transmitted diseases.

  3. He is either recovering from a heroin addiction or, well, not recovering.

  4. It's all for show. Check out the fake white teeth. Seriously, this guy is vain.

  5. If he has a daughter, she probably looks like a devil, even without the tattoos.

The only one we can validate for sure is #5.

But still! Give the old man props! While most men his age are wearing Dockers and Crocs, this guy is holding onto his youth like nobody's business! Screw pride! This guy has style.

Now, just for fun, see the true genius of CBS's marketing department and click here to search Google for "Big Brother Dick." Caution: If you have your "safe search" feature turned off (which you should!), this is very Not Safe For Work!

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