It's Buh-Nanas: Uh-Mazing Rachel Zoe Project Outtakes

These videos are, like, literally? The. Most. Uh-mazing.

I died. Shut up.

You. Will. Die.

Real Moments with Rachel Zoe Episode 2 - watch more funny videos

SEASON FINALE SPOILER of the Rachel Zoe Project! - watch more funny videos

The Rachel Zoe Project--"Recession Fashion Tips" - watch more funny videos

Brittany Murphy: In Memoriam

Today's news about Brittany Murphy hit hard.

Tabloid gossips like the vicious Perez Hilton (who has already begun attacking Murphy's memory) have been quite cruel to the young woman over recent years, due to purported drug abuse, eating disorders and other problems.

Now she is gone.

Brittany Murphy was a talented young actress. I remember the single-season sitcom "The Torkelsons" and its spin-off "Almost Home" only because of Murphy, and I instantly recognized her from the show when I saw her in her most memorable role in Clueless years later.

Although Angelina Jolie got all the credit for the so-so movie Girl, Interrupted, Brittany Murphy gave the film all of its emotional resonance. It's tragic that Murphy never found a solid place as the scene-stealing character actress of her time, but of course that tragedy does not compare with that of her death.

I don't know anything about her personal problems, but I hope that people will let her memory rest and leave her family alone.

In her memory:

Almost Home, 1993


Clueless, 1996


Girl, Interrupted, 1999

Class Action Lawsuit Against Tiger Woods

I have had it. I have summoned the spirit of the Great Johnnie Cochran and filed a class action lawsuit against the toxic sludge of a human being who calls himself Tiger Woods.

We are no longer fooled by your cartoon-cute name, Mr. Woods. The secret is out. You are a vile, horrible human being.

Just because are are richer than God and almost as rich as Oprah, you think that you have a right to...to what? Privacy? Is that it? After what you have done?

I don't know when I have been more hurt, felt more violated, than I did when I read this preposterous claim that you take responsibility for the devastation you have caused. This country is still healing from September 11 and Hurricane Katrina, Mr. Woods, and you go and RUN INTO A TREE.

A tree!

I am brought to tears just running through the events in my mind.

Your pleas will get you nowhere. You will be held responsible for this atrocious act of treason.

What about THE CHILDREN, Mr. Woods? Did you even think about THE CHILDREN before you hopped in your car and sent shock waves across the globe with...with...no, I can't even bring myself to write the words again.

A new circle of hell just opened up--the Tiger Circle--whose lashing flames will only speed Earth's global warming. We are all going to die a scorching death because of Mr. Woods's reckless behavior.

Don't just sit by idly and let this man continue to destroy our world. Join me in this class action suit. Together, we can make Mr. Woods atone for his sick, sick ways.

Moooore New Gaga: "So Happy I Could Die" (Instrumental) , "Dance In The Dark"

More New Gaga: "No Way" and "Second Time Around"

These are more conventional-sounding pop tracks, but solid. If her fashion icon pop star ever fizzles out, she's definitely got longevity as a songwriter. No question.

Listen To New Gaga Now: "Telephone" Feat. Beyonce

More Gaga awesomeness.

In addition to this and "Bad Romance," we've also heard "Alejandro" (love it!!) and "No Way" (jury's out) from the new Fame Monster album.

Even if you hate her unconventional image and antics, you've got to give Lady Gaga credit for musicality. Her music is '80s, '90s, '00s and beyond.

PS22 Students Sing Tori Amos's "Winter's Carol"

Soooo good!

This song is on Tori's new "Midwinter Graces" album, and it's also in her musical, "The Light Princess."

Just For Fun

New Gaga iPhone Karaoke App: Record Your Music & Share With Others!

Lady Gaga has partnered with a company called iOKi to create a new exclusive iPhone app that will let you sing along with, record, and share your versions of her music with other people!

And, according to TechCrunch, it's actually a great app! (We'll believe it when we hear it.)

Using the app is pretty straightforward: you choose a song, and the app launches into its viewing mode, where the lyrics pop up on your iPhone screen just as they would on more tradional karaoke machines. Depending on your setup, you can have the backing music and vocals come from either your phone’s headphone jack or its built-in speaker (your vocals can go in through either your headphone’s built-in microphone or the phone mic). The interface is easy enough to figure out within a few seconds, though I think it looks a bit bland given the iPhone’s penchant for glossy things. Once you’ve recorded a song, the app will present you with a link that you can use to share your recording across the web.

The app launches in the iTunes and App Stores on November 23, the same day as the release of Gaga's much-anticipated Fame Monster album.

We love Gaga, but we are incredulous about one thing. At her recent concert at DAR Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C., she asked the audience, "What is the one thing I hate more than anything in the world?"

The audience was dumbfounded.

Gaga roared: "MONEY!" And then she sang "Money, Honey."

For someone who allegedly hates money (she has said that she spent all of her money to pay for her Fame Ball tour), she she does a lot of cross-marketing. Surely she makes money off of her songwriting for Michael Bolton, Adam Lambert and others, not to mention Gaga-themed merchandise, TV appearances and now...a Gaga iPhone app? There's nothing wrong with making money, especially as a pop idol who worships pop, but we don't love the shades of hypocrisy we see in this behavior.

So Gaga, either stop saying you hate money and its corruptive power of illusion, or give me some, already. Lord knows you've got enough to spare by now!

Here's an iOKi tutorial video to ease your learning curve, because you KNOW you're gonna download it on Tuesday morning.

Adam Lambert Q&A: Gaga "Down to Earth"; Gene Simmons "A Dick"

Rolling Stone's new Q&A with Adam Lambert reveals a few more details about his forthcoming album, For Your Entertainment.

On the campy album artwork:

But that's what I was like when I was on Idol! When I did 'Ring of Fire,' that was pretty camp, so I don't understand why the cover is a surprise. People are forgetting me at my wildest--with platform boots and rhinestones around my eyes. Is the album cover that much of a departure?

On Gene Simmons sucking:

Gene Simmons spouted something, that he thought I'd ruined my career by coming out. He's obnoxious, and what a hypocrite--all he talks about is his sex life. He was being a dick--and he's not the greatest singer. I guess he's a good businessman, I'll give him that.

On his favorite songs:

Goldfrapp's Supernature was on heavy rotation for, like, a year. It's electronic, but it has an organic, psychedelic feel to it. When I heard they were working with Christina Aguilera, I was like, aww, she beat me to it.

On working with Gaga:

Even though she seems super-eccentric and out there, as a person, she's really down-to-earth--very New York. The song was a demo of hers from three or four years ago. At the end of the session, we had a drink--and then recorded more after some whiskey. The song captures us partying.

We haven't been totally blown away by his first couple of tracks--from the 2012 soundtrack and the title album track, "For Your Entertainment"--but we still love Adam Lambert for his vocal prowess, style, and oozy sexuality. And we are SO looking forward to the Gaga collab!

Tori Amos: "Midwinter Graces'" Previews 'The Light Princess'!

I'm not going to waste your time reviewing Tori Amos's brand-new album, Midwinter Graces, because 1) Others have written excellent and well-researched reviews (see Undented for links to many); 2) I'm obviously biased; and 3) Anyone who is a Tori Amos fan doesn't need a review in order to give any of her new work a chance.

But that doesn't mean I don't have anything to say about it.

First, in my opinion, this is Tori's best album (as a whole) since 2001's Scarlet's Walk. I never stop hoping that she will tap back into the energy that unleased Boys for Pele on the world, because that album's raw emotion and experiemental composition and orchestration is, simply, a beautiful piece of architecture. But Scarlet's Walk, which Tori calls her "sonic novel," is a true masterpiece. Taken in from beginning to end, and taking the months (years?) necessary to parse the human, historic, geographic and spiritual elements that make up the album, it's simply a work of genius. Those who think it is too even-keeled are mostly fans who miss Tori's fire, and those who think it is too esoteric simply are not convinced that it's more than pop music, or aren't interested in music being any more than simple entertainment.

Midwinter Graces is Tori's second "librarian" work. It is the product of what makes Tori Amos unique and it is an example of her high ambitions coming together into a master work. All of her personal culture (minister's daughter, mother's daughter, feminist, expat, mother) and spiritual struggles and inquisitiveness (varieties of Western religious history and spiritual and magical beliefs) are threaded through these songs--but they don't suffer from it.

There is not a bad song or a failed experiement on this album. While some songs are straightforward reinterpretations of Christmas music, most are Amos essays, commentaries on her relentless faith that Christianity and other religious beliefs have strong, even holy, roots, but that they've been eroded by time and human corruption.

But don't worry: If that's something that you hate about Tori Amos (it's the main reason I love her, personally), you won't hear it if you choose not to. Midwinter Graces can be received as a simple gift of lovely holiday music that reaches back into history and forward into the future, and which is based on, above all other things, love, family and peace among men and women. There is nothing profane or even objectionable, unless you object to other people having points of view that are not exactly the same as yours.

The one song that pushes the 'holiday' genre envelope is also the best on the album. And most exciting, Tori reveals in the interview video that comes with the iTunes album download, that song, "Winter's Carol," is actually taken from her musical-in-the-works, The Light Princess.

During the period when I interviewed Tori in February of 2008 for Geek Monthly magazine, she wasn't shy about talking about the musical. Since then, she has said little about the project, although some of her comments have suggested that the project might be experiencing developmental difficulties, and might even be on hold. And let's be honest, Tori works best when following her own muse, not the instruction of stage directors and producers, and to imagine a (likely) piano-driven stage musical interpretation of a Victorian fairy tale about a princess who can't keep from flying except when she's underwater...well, let's just say that's classic Tori ambition.

But after hearing "Winter's Carol," I'm not only excited about the musical; I'm confident that it will live up to its potential, at the very least musically. I will be one of the first in line for tickets. And yes, I will fly to London just to see the play.

This album is a gift. If you haven't bought it yet, here is a preview someone made. (Just a note about this preview: It doesn't do justice to a lot of the songs--including "Winter's Carol"--as they typically undulate from verse to verse to chorus and back...so don't judge based upon 30-second previews!)



Happy Midwinter!

Levi Johnston Accepts Porn Award

According to Advocate.com, Levi Johnston--Palin background no longer necessary--accepted an award from Fleshbot, "For the bravery to be himself despite the pictures other people want to paint of him, and for taking control of his image and letting us all enjoy in it, the mainstream porn crossover award goes to...Levi Johnston."

According to Fox411, "Levi Johnston says [baby son] Tripp can pose for Playgirl, too." He clarified: "Seventeen no," said Johnston. "Eighteen, 19, he’s old enough to make his own decisions. If I’m doing it, I couldn’t tell him not to, I’d be a hypocrite. When he’s that age, he’s going to do what he wants to do."

We assume Johnston won't be getting the Daddy of the Year award from Parenting magazine.

Reportedly, Johnston's Johnson is making "his" debut as we type this, on some cheesy Playgirl set in New York.

Johnston told reporters last night that he won't do a live-action porn movie, but the chances of a homemade sex tape not showing up when his star starts to fade? We predict nil.

Is "crossover star" a fitting designation for Johnston? What, exactly, did he cross from and to? Nobody to public joke and jackoff bait? Oh well. At least this proves on a psychological level that anything sex-related will capture the attention of the average person.

File under "creepy, funny."

Britney Spears Tweets "Glory to Satan!" (Really!!!)

How does Britney Spears greet the new day? Like this:

"I hope that the new world order will arrive as soon as possible. --Britney"

"I give myself to Lucifer every day for it to arrive as quickly as possible. Glory to Satan!"

Well, then!

I was sooo excited to see this on Dlisted this morning, since I've always hoped that Britney actually wrote "666" on her forehead while she was institutionalized several years ago, as rumored.

Unfortunately, it turns out all to be a hoax. According to Brit's official Twitter, "Britney's Twitter account was just hacked. The situation has been resolved and we apologize for any offense the hacker's messages caused."

DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!

Sane Britney isn't half as fun as demon-worshipping crazy Brit.

} :-<

"Bad Romance" Video: Behind the Scenes with Lady Gaga

Do we love the "Bad Romance" video as much as everyone else seems to?

We're not so sure...but we do love Gaga's styling, especially the sea monkey-inspired crowned white outfits (vinyl versions of her gorgeous/grotesque red lace VMA outfit!).



Gaga's globe-trotting stylist, Nicola Formichetti, has really outdone himself--and anyone who has come along in at least ten years.

Between the two of them, they seriously make insanity look fun.

Gaga, Nicola: je veux ton amour et je veux ta revenge, je veux ton amour I DON'T WANNA BE FRIENDS!!!

Eff You Too, Citibank; Thank You, Suze Orman!

It's official: banks are the power-drunk husband and Americans are the cowering, bruised woman in the corner. Long gone are the days of "Dear Valued Customer" and in are the days of, "shut up and take it, Bitch. What are you gonna do, move out? As if you had any friends or anywhere to go."

Suze Orman has made me paranoid out of my mind about my finances, and one of the few things in my life that I can legitimately brag about is that my FICO score is in the "great" range. This means I have the power not to get screwed by abusive loan agents, et al. Right?

WRONG!

This letter was waiting for me in my mailbox when I got home from work tonight:

We are making changes to your account terms.

These changes include an increase in the variable APR for purchases to 18.99% and will take effect on December 20, 2009. As a valued customer, you have the ability to earn a special rate that is below your current purchase rate if you accept these changes. Whether you're looking to consolidate multiple balances into one easy-to-manage payment or have extra cash on hand for emergencies or unexpected expenses, this special rate is a great way to gain added control over your finances.

As always, you have the right to opt out of these changes and pay down your balance under your current terms. If you opt out, you may use your account under the current terms until the end of your current membership year or the expiration date on your card, whichever is later. At that time, we will close your account.

19%. This is a loan shark rate, not a legitimate bank's interest rate. And this is as good as it gets these days.

And don't think I didn't notice the lack of a greeting. Not even a cordial hello. Just: "We are making changes to your account terms," which is certainly followed in invisible ink by [and you can't do jack shit about it! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA].

But even with that, it's the our-way-or-the-highway attitude that instantly turned my eyes bloodshot. If I don't accept their new terms, they will close my account. The account that I have had for, what, a decade now? A third of my life?

OK, so what are the terms, anyway? Oh, simple:

Here's how the special rate works:

• Transfer $3000 or more by December 10, 2009
• Receive a special rate of 9.99% on this balance transfer until January 1, 2009. This special rate is below your current purchase rate.
• In addition, effective December 20, 2009, you will receive this special rate on existing and new purchase balances until January 1, 2011,
• After that, your variable APR for purchases of 18.99% will apply to any unpaid balances under this offer.
• There is a 3% balance transfer fee with this offer.

Get that? This "special rate" requires 1) carrying a $3,000 balance before December 10, 2) accepting the extorsion rate after January 1, 2011 anyway, and 3) paying Citi an extra 3% ON TOP of the interest they are already stealing--er, charging.



This is where Saint Suze comes in. If I hadn't followed her advice and become uber-paranoid about money, I wouldn't have a good personal savings that makes me able to pay off my credit card balances from month to month. More importantly, I wouldn't have a great FICO score (or even know what a FICO score is, actually), and I wouldn't have any choice but to accept this kind of abuse.

But you know what? I don't have to. I decided to apply for a new VISA with my credit union and--guess what--I was pre-approved for a new card with the same balance as my Citi card and a SEVEN POINT NINE PERCENT interest rate. Yeah, you heard me.

So, Dear Citi, my here's my special offer to you: I will never use another card or account bearing your name or logo.

Treat your customers with some respect and maybe they'll do the same. Happy sinking.

Preview Tori Amos's "Midwinter Graces" Holiday Album!

The amazingly gifted, insightful and intelligent Tori Amos has graced us with Midwinter Graces, her first-ever seasonal album.

As might be expected, the album draws on historically religious and seasonal arrangements, but Tori tweaks them all, adding surprising (and surprisingly reverent and respectful) elements that make them all her own.

The music speaks (sings) for itself, but the most exciting and one of the most beautiful tracks of all is "Holly, Ivy, and Rose," a duet with Tori's daughter Natashya. It's gorgeous.

This is a great new seasonal album that doesn't bore with "new" interpretations of songs like "Jingle Bells" and "Frosty the Snowman." It's new enough to be revelatory and familiar enough to give you that warm tingle of the holiday season.

But don't listen to me. Listen for yourself:

Midwinter Graces

My New Nick Carter Interview On Advocate.com

Nick Carter embraced his gay fans before it was trendy -- at 17, he posed for the cover of a gay teen mag, unheard of at the time. Now, with a new Backstreet album in stores, Nick is sober, happy, and, most important, back.

I had a chance to talk with Nick about the new Backstreet Boys album, working with (Gaga producer) RedOne, his ventures into filmmaking and Broadway, his little brother turn on Aaron's Dancing with the Stars and, of course, gay stuff ("...it’s not a big deal to me. It may have been a big deal back in the day when I was young, but, you know, whatever. It’s part of our culture now and that’s what’s great about it. People accept it now. I love it.)

Check out the interview here.

New Tiesto + Nelly Furtado: Who Wants to be Alone?

Tiesto is back in full form with his new album, Kaleidoscope. Here's a great new track from the album: "Who Wants to be Alone" featuring Nelly Furtado.



And just for fun, here's another! "Here on Earth" feat. the Carey Brothers.



The album also features Tegan and Sara, Kianna, Calvin Harris, Dizzee Rascal, Priscilla Ahn, Sneaky Sound System and many other great collaborations.

New Gaga Song! Alejandro (Don't Call My Name)

Aside from "Brown Eyes" (which was actually good live), Gaga seems to have the rare talent for not writing a bad song...so far!

Can't wait for The Fame Monster.

Finally! Interviewer Makes Megan Fox Put Bag Over Her Head

My Kathy Griffin Interview: She Gets Serious About Matthew Shepard

I had an amazing opportunity to interview the hilarious Kathy Griffin for Advocate.com.

As expected, Kathy was funny and sharp from hello (she accused me of pretending to be doing the interview just to get her on the phone, which threw me off for a sec!).

But to my surprise, she was also remarkably serious and sincere for the first half of the interview, during which she talked at length about gay marriage rights and Matthew Shepard.

I hope you'll read the interview at Advocate.com and appreciate Kathy's important advocacy work for equality.

And speaking of Matthew Shepard, his mother Judy Shepard's new book came out a couple of days ago. It's amazing. There are no words. But if you want to read a review before ordering the book, read what Entertainment Weekly had to say about it. (Hint: EW gave it a solid A.)



PS: I interviewed Kathy only a few days after the "Norma Gay" episode of My Life on the D List aired. If you didn't catch, it, watch the clips below. It's hands-down the best episode of My Life on the D List.

New Madonna Video: Cause For 'Celebration'?

Madonna's new video is surprisingly unexceptional. As Madonna evolved in the '80s-'90s from straightforward dance music (complemented by straightforward, low-budget music videos), she used her platform to introduce music videos that challenged the world to accept a black Jesus ("Like a Prayer"), a flamboyant inner-city dance culture ("Vogue"), right-to-life decisions ("Papa Don't Preach").

The came the Music album, which paved the way for Madonna's new era of writing music about, well, music and writhing in her videos without much else going on.

Not a lot is going on in "Celebration." It's virtually the same as "Hung Up"--Madonna showing she's still nimble at age 50--but, fortunately for us, with a much easier-to-look-at outfit. This time Madonna's pelvis is not the fulcrum at the center of this video. But what is is equally disturbing...and interesting. The center of this video is none other than Jesus himself!

We mean Jesus Luz, of course, Madonna's controversial plaything. Midway through the "Celebration" video, after a couple of minutes of Madonna et al. twisting to the beat, comes Jesus in his lead debut as a DJ. After a couple minutes of making lascivious faces (which would be absolutely disgusting on a man of a certain age) and sexually suggestive movements, Madonna cozies up to the "DJ" and removes his clothes, piece by piece. Like us, Jesus looks vaguely disgusted.

Artistically, "Celebration" may be somewhat of a low for Madonna. Besides looking fresh as a genetically modified daisy in an Andy Warhol wig, Madonna is giving us more message than art. What's the message? It's an interesting one.

Madonna always has been defiant--so much so that this entire statement is a waste of words. But this defiance is a bit less obvious, more subversive. Madonna always has pushed the limit as a feminist working under the guise of a totally independent mind. Let's be honest: Madonna is downright creepy in "Celebration." If she were a fifty-year-old man making faces at a 20-something hottie, and then slowly removing her clothes while she makes uncomfortable faces, there would be a riot. Sure, rock stars are different, but even Steven Tyler has known since the '80s that to keep his fans liking him, he needs to feature hotties in vignettes within his video, not getting nasty with him. That would be nasty.

It's pretty nasty when Madonna does it, too--even if you are a fan of her brand-new face (which we are!). But here Madonna takes feminism to its next level. In "Celebration," Madonna is not on an equal playing field with her male rock-n-roll counterparts: She is above them. There is no such thing as a FILF, only a MILF, and Madonna's creepily meta-video shows who's boss. Madonna is a predator, and her fans would accept nothing less.

As for the song, she phoned it in.

Madonna's New 'Celebration' Video Debut

Madonna's new "Celebration" video is about to debut, and boy is her team making a big deal of it! The video will "have its exclusive world premiere on the iTunes store" free beginning tomorrow, Tuesday, September 1, and then will be available for sale on iTunes (and no doubt all over YouTube free).

The "Celebration" video is directed by Jonas Akerlund, who directed the “Ray of Light” video. "Celebration" was filmed recently in Milan, Italy and features dancers from Madonna's “Sticky & Sweet” Tour. The video also includes cameo appearances by Madonna’s daughter, Lola Leon and her favorite Jesus (Luz), with whom we all know she has done quite unholy things.

Here's the much-hyped non-preview of the video:



Hey, as long as she's not wearing a unitard and thrusting her fault lines in our face, we're happy!

Taylor Lautner Teen-Vogues!

Hmm...looks like one of my sister's Teen Beat magazines from the 1980s, but it's actually the cover of the October issue of Teen Vogue, out on newsstands September 8.

Teen Vogue's new issue is all about young Hollywood, and hottie-of-the-moment Taylor Lautner is basking in his fifteen minutes of awooooooooooooo! He tells the junior issue of Vogue (which apparently is more into tapping teen girls' hormones with hot boys instead of hunchbacked anorexic models like its big sister) all about his role as a freakishly smooth-chested werewolf.

From the magazine:

“I think the fans would love anybody who played Jacob,” he says. “I’m just lucky to be the one who got the chance.”

It was his Hollywood-based karate coach who suggested Taylor give show business a chance. At first he admits he was not interested, but after a few auditions he was sold. “Taking on roles that were the opposite of what I could be in real life? That’s still my favorite thing.”

Tabloid attention and spurious rumors are the norm for the Twilight cast right now—and although Taylor is quite new to the attention, he seems capable of taking it all in stride. When asked about his alleged romance with Disney star Selena Gomez, he answers, “She’s a great girl.” Asked whether Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are indeed tangled in a torrid love triangle, he just laughs. “It’s crazy. But the fans help. They’re a big art of the motivation.”

Teen Vogue continues its annual Young Hollywood profile with seventeen talented up-and-comers poised to be the next big shots of the silver screen. Young stars like Lucas Till from the Hannah Montana movie, Miranda Cosgrove from Nickelodeon’s iCarly, and 20-year-old Rory Culkin, making his way out from under his brother’s shadows, shine in Teen Vogue’s tribute to Young Hollywood photographed by the renowned Bruce Weber.

Weber is the photographer who single-lensedly transformed Abercrombie & Fitch from your great uncle's favorite outdoor store to a softcore porn-peddling teen status symbol of such street cred that it continuously felt empowered to discriminate against: black people, Asian people, gay people, one-armed people...the list is sure to go on as the years go by!

Annnnnnnyyyyyyywayyyyyy here's your first look at your new favorite Twilight hottie in Teen Vogue:

For more, including a Tay-Tay slideshow, a quiz ("How well do you know our cover boy?"), OMG!!! A FREE TAYLOR POSTER!!!! and OMFG!!!!! A CHANCE TO WIN A TRIP TO THE NEW MOON PREMIERE!!!!!!!!!!, go to Teen Vogue.

LeToya's Lady Love

I'm diggin' LeToya Luckett's new album Lady Love, and I'm loving her attitude!



Watch her video "She Ain't Got" and then read her new interview in the Advocate, in which she talks about her thoughts on gay marriage, Chris Brown (who wrote "She Ain't Got"), Destiny's Child (she was one of the original members and is a childhood (former) friend of Beyonce's), and the Latex Ball--whatever that is!

Swing batter, batter, batter, swing!

Listen To New Lady GaGa + Michael Bolton Duet!

For real: Lady GaGa wrote this new single for Michael Bolton's new album, and she sings the backup vocals.

The music is all GaGa, but the ballad is totally fitting for Michael Bolton. Totally conventional. But good!

Trouble With 'Wonderland'

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland certainly *looks* like it's going to be his trademark combination of surral goth gorgeousness--but one thing troubles me.

I've always read (or watched) Alice as a child's point of view of the world: it doesn't make any sense. Adults run around like crazy people worrying about being on time, they have funny dress-up parties just to sit around and have inane conversation that no one relates to, and kids have to live in this crazy place, sometimes feeling enormously important and big, sometimes feeling unbelievably small, and sometimes worrying about having their heads cut off for breaking an arbitrary rule they don't understand.

So what's my problem? The Alice trailer is all about the Mad Hatter--or, rather, about Johnny Depp.

Yes, everyone loves Johnny Depp. He's got the reputation of being a real-life Mad Hatter, especially when he is paired up with Burton and Helena Bonham Carter, who also is in this movie.

But the trailer is narrated by Johnny Depp. If we consider the trailer a little movie of its own, then the climax is when Depp's voiceover says, "...some say to survive it, you have to be as mad as a hatter. Which, luckily, I am."

It's not about YOU, Hatter! It's about Alice! It's about the little girl in the crazy nonsensical adult world! SHE should be narrating because it's HER story.

Sigh.

I don't want to take all the fun out of this movie, but it'll be sad to me if it's the Hatter's story instead of Alice's. That would just strip away the brilliance of the story, making this version pretty much just a fun acid trip with fancy costumes. Oh, and Johnny Depp, of course.

Live From The Studio!

Watch live video from whatuppyo's channel on Justin.tv

Sex With Ducks And Gay Marriage Are One And The Same

Laughing With...Regina Spektor

Regina's new album, Far, is soo going to rock!

Here's her first single, "Laughing With..."

Laughing With


Gorgeousness!

"I like to top!" ...Guess Who Said It?

Melissa Etheridge On Prop 8

“How do I explain this to my children? Well, you know Ellen? She is married but Mommy and I are not. That is liberty and justice for all? I am hopeful as I see more and more states turn to the inevitable future of equality, California will get there. Change takes time.”

-Melissa Etheridge

Drew Barrymore On Prop 8

She speaks for herself:

George Clooney On Prop 8

“This just should invigorate people to get it back on the ballot in 2010 and 2012 and every two years until all people are allowed a basic civil right."

-George Clooney

Tori Amos On Prop 8

"(I was) extremely disappointed. Well, we go back to this concept of emancipation. The idea of 'We will overcome' from the great Dr. Martin Luther King, was made flesh as Obama was put into the office and yet at the same time another group of people were subjugated by some of those voters.

"A lot of people were saying, 'Well you have to understand that a lot of the voters are Democratic and Christians, the ones that had an issue with rights for the gay community'. And I would say how, in any way, is that the Christian path?"

-Tori Amos to Attitude magazine

Margaret Cho On Prop 8

"I am outraged and disgusted, but this is only a momentary setback. We will soon win back this right and the victory will be even more thrilling because we had to fight so hard to get it."

-Margaret Cho reacts to the California supreme court's decision to uphold Prop. 8

George Takei On Prop 8

"I am confident that if we go through this again, we will ultimately prevail and our [State] Supreme Court will go into the dust of history."

-George Takei to E!

Rob Thomas On Gay Marriage

"I've heard it said before, many times, that if two men or two women are allowed to join into a civil union together, why can't they be happy with that and why is it so important that they call it marriage? In essence, what's in a name?

"A civil union has to do with death. It's essentially a document that gives you lower taxes and the right to let your faux spouse collect your insurance when you pass away. A marriage is about life. It's about a commitment. And this argument is about allowing people to have the right to make that commitment, even if it doesn't make sense to you. Anything else falls under the category of "separate but equal" and we know how that works out.

"The support of legalizing gay marriage is in no way meant to change the ideals of the section of Christians who believe that homosexuality is a sin. But we should refuse to let other people's ideals shape the way we live our lives. Each of us has a short ride on this earth and as long as we stay in our lane, and don't affect someone else's ride, we should be allowed to drive as we see fit."

-Rob Thomas Editorial from Huffingtonpost.com

• Gay Marriage
• Marriage

I am a straight man, with a big gay chip on my shoulder. A while back on my Twitter page (yes, I know how ridiculous it sounds), I mentioned that, if I believed in the devil, Pat Robertson might be ...

I am a straight man, with a big gay chip on my shoulder. A while back on my Twitter page (yes, I know how ridiculous it sounds), I mentioned that, if I believed in the devil, Pat Robertson might be ...

Marie Osmond On Prop 8

“You know, on those types of things I'm very supportive. When it comes to marriage, I think that civil rights need to be for all."

-Marie Osmond in a radio interview on KOST 103.5

Charlize Theron On Prop 8

"We need to take a stand for equality. All of us. On the Saturday after the California supreme court rules to either uphold or overturn Proposition 8. In Fresno, the heartland of California. This isn't just about California. It's about America. This isn't just about marriage. It's about human rights."

-Charlize Theron in a May 7 e-mail

Wanda Sykes On Prop 8

"I'm deeply disappointed, but also very optimistic that we will return to the polls and restore marriage equality for same sex couples."

- Wanda Sykes reacts to the California Supreme Court's Decision to uphold Prop 8

Cynthia Nixon On Prop 8

“Upholding the discriminatory Proposition 8 marks May 26, 2009, as a dark day for the people of California. The idea that gay families like mine should not be included in our country's promise of equal rights for all citizens is deeply un-American. While California has taken a giant step backwards, states like Maine and Iowa (and soon, I hope, New York) are leading with way towards a fairer and better tomorrow.”

-- Cynthia Nixon on the California supreme court's decision to uphold Prop. 8

Mandy Moore On Prop 8

I had the opportunity to interview Mandy Moore for Advocate.com and when I asked her about her thoughts on Prop 8, she revealed that her older brother is gay and got married before Prop 8 took effect. We spoke last week, and since then California has ruled that those married before Prop 8 was enacted would be able to reinstate their legal statuses. Congratulations to Mandy's brother! Too bad for everyone else. :-(

Here's Mandy's full comment on the issue:

The song “Merrimack River” is named after a river in Massachusetts, which recognizes same-sex marriage, and New Hampshire, your home state -- one of the few states that offers full civil rights to same-sex couples. Are you surprised that California voted to deny these rights?

"Yes. Unbelievably surprised. And saddened. Unfortunately, I was still a Florida resident during the election because I grew up in Florida and I still spend a lot of time there. So I didn’t get to vote as a California resident, which is a bummer. Although they had a similar vote on the Florida bill as well. I have to say I’m ... I’m still shocked that California voted against it. And in fact, my older brother and his boyfriend got married right before the election just in case things ended up going the way that they did, and I think my family was all the more disappointed that things went the way that they did with the decision."


Click here to read the full interview on Advocate.com.

Schwarzenegger On Prop 8

California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared on The Tonight Show Tuesday night and talked about Prop. 8 with Jay Leno. Schwarzenegger said the state will support the court’s decision and uphold Prop. 8, but he also indicated it was only a matter of time before it would be overturned.

Click for video at Advocate.com.

Tim Gunn On Prop 8

"I'm sickened and STUNNED. I honestly do not have the adequate words to express my incredulity. Has the world gone mad? How can the supreme court of the State of California rule that it’s perfectly fine to take away people’s rights? I’m STUNNED."

--Project Runway host and fashion guru Tim Gunn on the California supreme court's decision to uphold Proposition 8

Heather Matarazzo on Prop 8

"The highest court in the state of California just legalized discrimination, saying 'it's what the majority wants.' ... How do you think we feel? We're heartbroken but not hopeless. There are no words to describe what it feels like to have my right to marry my fiancée voted on."

-- Actress Heather Matarazzo to Advocate.com on the California supreme court's decision to uphold Prop. 8

Jewel On Gay Marriage, Dancing With The Stars, Sarah Palin, and Lady GaGa

What does Jewel think about gay marriage? Who will save her soul if she is against it??

Click here to find out...

The Panty-Christ

Soooo here I am watching the first episode of The Fashion Show, Bravo's desperate attempt to keep Project Runway viewers from jumping ship and fleeing to The Valerie Bertinelli and Meredith Baxter-Birney Movie Network (aka Lifetime). It stars Isaac Mizrahi (aka Is-Miz) and Kelly Rowland (aka Kelly Rowland).

And--wtf!--one of the super-gay contestants is none other than Andrew Christian, the underwear designer who apparently is known as "the Panty-Christ." (We like his lifeguard inspired undies, but we didn't know he was important enough to have such a demonic monkier.)

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway. Not sure how I feel about the show yet, but one thing is clear: TFS is going to be my new favorite source for absurdly snarkastic quotes. Examples:

• "I love a gray satin harem pant as a must-have piece."
• "I'd need some butter and a miracle to put that on me."
• "It's a breast-centric thing, do you know what I mean? That is all about the breast."
• "The model had to be cut out of it to go to the bathroom. That is shameful." "But she could lie down in it!"

This show might satisfy my need for nonsense once ANTM is over. Woo hoo!

Birthday Suits: George Clooney, Valentino, and MEEEEEE

Today is the best day of the year to be born!

Why? Because it's the day I was born. Duh.




Clooney is 48 today!


Valentino is dead today!


Davey is 31 today! And wearing a Santa hat.