From The Never-Gets-Old File: Ryan Phillippe Shirtless

We hate to admit this, but if we were Ryan Phillippe's girlfriend, Abbie Cornish, we'd be a homewrecker too. Look at him! In ancient days, wars would have been fought over him.

Even though we'd break up the otherwise stable relationship of a man and wife with two children to get some Essence of Phillippe, we're not evil enough to be interested in politics. But if we were politically minded, we'd run for office on the platform that Angelina Jolie and Ryan Phillippe should be put in a pristine glass cage for the rest of their lives, and their genes harvested and inserted into the DNA of every developing American fetus for at least 20 years.

Uh huh. You know you wish you could vote for us!

Ryan and Justified Slutbag are pictured here in Las Vegas.