Letter to Perez Hilton: Watch Your Back!

Dear Perez,

We just saw that you posted the above photo of our beloved soulmate, Ian Somerhalder, and compared him to that Austrian psychopath who kept his daughter locked up for decades, repeatedly raped her and had children/grandchildren with her.

What the eff! First off, that's just wrong. Like beyond Perez Hilton wrong.

Secondly...what the eff! Ian frickin' Somerhalder, the Second Coming, the Prodigal Son, looks nothing like that Nazi psycho.

Don't mess with GuyStyle, Mario, and don't even think of messing with our unofficial mascot Ian! He's absofreaking gorgeous. And that other dude? There aren't many people that scary looking...we mean, the crazy hair, the wild eyes, the crooked mouth, the cascading chins. There's maybe no one else that repulsive on the face of the...

Oh.

Right.



Hmm. We're more charitable than you are. We forgive you. It must be hard to get through the day, huh?

Hugs-n-kisses,

GuyStyle