GaGa Dumped Me For Paula And Simon!

Arrrgh!!!

What!

What!

What?!?!!? did I do to karma to get this kind of treatment?!

Just last night I posted about how EXCITED I am for the ONE. GOOD. THING. in the forecast for this entire sucky year: The Lady GaGa concert in two days in D.C.

Well. What does GaGa do but dump my ass for Lobotomy Abdul, Ditto Dawg Jackson and Look-at-Me Simon. Oh, and that new chick.

That's right. Lady GaGa canceled two back-to-back sold-out shows in Washington to sing one dumb single on American Idol. Smart career move? Probably.

But a pretty sucky way to treat fans if you ask me.

Never mind everyone else, D.C.'s gay fans formed a GaGa-oriented subculture and planned parties all over town every night from last Saturday leading up through this Thursday's anticipated concerts. So much for GaGa Week.

OK, so exposure to tens of millions of people is worth more than its price in gold. But keep in mind that most of those people are little kids and Middle American families that are going to be staring at their TVs unwittingly iterating Christina Aguilera's now-famous line about GaGa: "I don't even know if this...GaGa person is a man or a woman." Or in the more direct and less pretentious dialect spoken in American homes: Whut the hayull is that thing?

In next week's issue of New York--still my favorite magazine--GaGa asks: “What am I supposed to do [in L.A.], canoodle with celebrities at a nightclub, with a lemon-drop Midori in my hand? It’s not the same as being in a bar that smells like urine with all your really smart New York friends.”

No, Lady. You're supposed to sing for an unappreciative audience of millions (plus four judges whose collective attitudes add up to: The Focus Group is Never Wrong!) and leave the people who are really inspired by your pretense standing in the cold.