GaGa Dumped Me For Paula And Simon!

Arrrgh!!!

What!

What!

What?!?!!? did I do to karma to get this kind of treatment?!

Just last night I posted about how EXCITED I am for the ONE. GOOD. THING. in the forecast for this entire sucky year: The Lady GaGa concert in two days in D.C.

Well. What does GaGa do but dump my ass for Lobotomy Abdul, Ditto Dawg Jackson and Look-at-Me Simon. Oh, and that new chick.

That's right. Lady GaGa canceled two back-to-back sold-out shows in Washington to sing one dumb single on American Idol. Smart career move? Probably.

But a pretty sucky way to treat fans if you ask me.

Never mind everyone else, D.C.'s gay fans formed a GaGa-oriented subculture and planned parties all over town every night from last Saturday leading up through this Thursday's anticipated concerts. So much for GaGa Week.

OK, so exposure to tens of millions of people is worth more than its price in gold. But keep in mind that most of those people are little kids and Middle American families that are going to be staring at their TVs unwittingly iterating Christina Aguilera's now-famous line about GaGa: "I don't even know if this...GaGa person is a man or a woman." Or in the more direct and less pretentious dialect spoken in American homes: Whut the hayull is that thing?

In next week's issue of New York--still my favorite magazine--GaGa asks: “What am I supposed to do [in L.A.], canoodle with celebrities at a nightclub, with a lemon-drop Midori in my hand? It’s not the same as being in a bar that smells like urine with all your really smart New York friends.”

No, Lady. You're supposed to sing for an unappreciative audience of millions (plus four judges whose collective attitudes add up to: The Focus Group is Never Wrong!) and leave the people who are really inspired by your pretense standing in the cold.

GaGa...Take Me Away!

So, yeah. Let's this to the point: this year so far has been a waking nightmare.

But. But!! There's hope, and it's coming this Thursday in the form of Lady GaGa! Soooo excited! Someone wonderful (and kinda cute, too) bought tix and I'm gonna see my new muse number two (after Tori, of course).

In honor of me putting all my hopes and dreams in one oddball 23 year old (happy birthday, Lady!), here's a pretty awesome video a few of her fans put together. Be sure to watch past the first minute or so...it gets better.



*By the way, a few people have sent me really thoughtful and kind e-mails over the past few weeks, and I really appreciate them. I don't really want to revisit all the bad things that have been going on, but rest assured I saved your messages and will get back to you eventually. It doesn't matter so much whether or not people keep coming back here, but knowing that there are good people in the world who will take a few minutes to send positive thoughts really does matter. Thank you.

Special Olympics Fires Back At Obama

OK, "fires back" is a bit too strong, but S.O.'s Chairman, Timothy Shriver (Yes, Maria Shriver's brother) did issue a statement saying that Prexy O. called him last night to apologize.

Shriver said, “Words hurt and words matter. Words can cause pain and result in stereotypes that are unfair and damaging to people with intellectual disabilities. And using 'Special Olympics' in a negative or derogatory context can be a humiliating put-down to people with special needs."

And he challenged Obama "to take the lead and consider hiring a Special Olympics athlete to work in the White House. In so doing, he could help end misperceptions about the talents and abilities of people with intellectual disabilities, and demonstrate their dignity and value to the world."

Fun fact: Ugly Betty superdiva Vanessa Williams is on the Board of Directors with Special Olympics International, and I once interviewed her about it. She was incredibly well informed, having worked with S.O. for over 15 years.

Special Olympics is much more than just the Special Olympics Games. It's an important international movement that deserves support and attention. Hopefully, Obama's shockingly ill thought out remark will turn into increased public attention toward and support for the organization.

I just made a donation. You should, too.

Abnormally Addicted To Tori

I haven't posted in eons, but if anything's gonna bring me back from the abyss, it's my muse, Tori Amos.

A few new song clips have leaked to the Innernets, but since I want everyone to buy Ms. Amos's genius, I'm not gonna post them. (And also, the YouTube links I had went down.)

But here's a clip of the new song "Mary Jane," performed live at SXSW:



Soooo excited!

Watch Out, Meryl Streep. Here Comes Lohan.

There are no words.

Actually there are:

Glam.

Pink.

Shit.

Bye-Bye, Money. I hardly knew you.

I just got a Social Security statement in the mail, which includes this nifty little fact sheet called "What young workers should know about Social Security and saving." Among such important headlines as "Social Security protects you if you become disabled..." and "Social Security protects your family in the event of death..." and "Social Security is a financial foundation" is another: Will Social Security still be around when I retire? The answer: "Yes."

But two sentences later comes the full disclosure:

"The Social Security Board of Trustees now estimates that based on current law, in 2041, the Trust Funds will be depleted. Because people are living longer and the birth rate is low, the ratio of workers to beneficiaries is falling. Therefore the taxes that are paid by workers will not be enough to pay the full benefit amounts scheduled."

HOWEVER, it goes on to say, "this does not mean that Social Security benefit payments would disappear. Even if modifications to the program are not made, there would still be enough funds in 2041 from taxes paid by workers to pay about $780 for every $1,000 in benefits scheduled."

I would be eligible for retirement ~2045+/-. I don't think most people my age and younger really expect to see their Social Security investments returned to them, but it's pretty shocking to see this in writing from the SSA. Getting back $780 for every $1,000 in benefits is not much better than my retirement losses of late, but the differences are that 1) my 403b investments are optional and 2) they could possibly recover over time. Social Security won't. The way things are currently set up, Social Security deductions are automatically taken from my pay--I have no say in the matter--in order to pay older people 100% of their investments.

Shouldn't I be able to claim older Americans as dependents on my taxes, then?

I'm one of the few people who don't mind paying taxes, but I want the taxes to pay me back in some kind of way. I really hope things will turn around for the country because, the way things have been for several generations now, lawmakers have put into action only short-term plans that pay off for them and possibly their children and leave future generations hanging. This is the same thing Americans have recently criticized China for doing--not thinking about the future. I don't have children, but I do worry about the stability of this country for those who do. And especially for myself, of course, since I am American, after all.

Everything Falls Apart

I have been accused of being negative, gloomy, irrationally upset about things. Can someone offer an explanation for life? I am beyond desperate. Everything is falling apart.


My grandmother died unexpectedly on Wednesday. It was a complete shock. Her doctor cut off the methadone treatment that she had been on for a year and then prescribed seven new medications she had never taken before, and she died less than 24 hours later. My whole family is devastated, but my mother especially because she just lost her mother.

Yesterday, we rushed my mother to the emergency room for unbearable stomach pain. She thought it was irritable bowel syndrome. It turned out that she had had appendicitis and her appendix burst probably about five weeks ago, and now she has an abscess that could have killed her but miraculously did not. She also has some sort of bronchial infection and they've been giving her oxygen. She is a heavy smoker and the doctor just did X-rays and we're waiting for the verdict. The doctor seemed very gloomy about the situation. The way things are going, we are all preparing for the worst and trying to force some sense of optimism.

My mother and father have spent the past four years caring for someone else. They had no break between raising my sister and me and nursing my grandmother. I am 30 years old. I moved back home about three and a half years ago so that I'd have fewer expenses during grad school, and also to help my parents care for my grandmother. When Grandma died, it was very bittersweet, as her loss is painful and devastating, but she was suffering constantly in life and she is better off now.

I was so hopeful that my parents were going to be able to live, finally. For about one day, while mourning my grandmother, I felt hopeful and like there was freedom for us all. And then my mother took this devastating turn.

I don't know what to do. I don't feel like I can live through this. Why is life so unfair? Why can't it ever let up? Why can't anyone in my family EVER be granted the time and resources to be happy, even for just a year? I feel so desperate I can't even express it in words. I have never had a romantic relationship in my entire life. I absolutely hate my job, and I can tell they are losing patience with all my family emergencies. There is no one in the world I am closer to than my mother, and it is killing me to see her have to suffer the loss of her mother and all of these health problems of her own in less than a week. I am so angry at the world. I am so hateful. I do not believe there is any hope. Both of my parents have completely sacrificed thier own happiness and self-preservation since the day my sister was born 31 years ago, and nothing good EVER happens for them. Tomorrow is my father's 61st birthday, and that's the day my parents will get the results of my mom's X-rays. I am so afraid. My family cannot take any more. Why is life like this?