Anyway, the blog has an extensive list of things white people like and, as if you care, I've decided to tally up exactly how white I am based upon this list. Despite the nearly translucent quality of my skin, I am surprisingly less white than I thought. Of course, we must factor in the very specific subset of white-and-gay to which I belong, as well as the fact that more than half of my friends are not white. Or maybe we don't. I don't know. I'm an expert on this science.
So, uh, how white are you?
- #103 Sweaters--I freaking LOVE sweaters!!!
- #102 Children’s Games as Adults--Nope, not my bag.
- #101 Being Offended--Yes, I do get off on being offended. It is true.
- #100 Bumper Stickers--Hell no. But I did when I was younger. I'm maturing to a better ethnicity, maybe?
- #99 Grammar--Ummm HELLO I have an Master's degree in writing, a BA in English, and I've worked as a writer and editor for my entire adult life.
- #98 The Ivy League--I did until I heard that George W. Bush was a graduate of both Harvard and Yale. Someone needs to sue the ivies for fraud. Seriously.
- #97 Scarves--I like the look, but I hate wearing them. So I'll say no.
- #96 New Balance Shoes--Nope. All Day I Dream About Sex
- #95 Rugby--No, but I have no issue with naked rugby players!
- #94 Free Healthcare--Yes, but because I'm smart, not because I'm white.
- #93 Music Piracy--Not at all! Pay artists for their work!!
- #92 Book Deals--I'll let you know when I get my first one.
- #91 San Francisco--Never been there. But it looks like a nice place.
- #90 Dinner Parties--Bleh!
- #89 St. Patrick’s Day--I'm Irish, so again I have an unfair bias.
- #88 Having Gay Friends--I'm gay, so again I have an unfair bias. (I have very few gay friends, though, for the record. Now accepting applications!)
- #87 Outdoor Performance Clothes--If they have a Juicy label.
- #86 Shorts--When it's hot, sure.
- #85 The Wire--Never seen it.
- #84 T-Shirts--Sure, why not?
- #83 Bad Memories of High School--I HAVE plenty, but I don't LIKE any of them!
- #82 Hating Corporations--Guilty.
- #81 Graduate School--I went, but I hated it.
- #80 The Idea of Soccer--Does "the idea" of David Beckham count for anything?
- #79 Modern Furniture--Mid-Century all the way.
- #78 Multilingual Children--Everyone should be multilingual.
- #77 Musical Comedy--I'm starting to think this is a Stuff Gay People Are Supposed To Like list.
- #76 Bottles of Water--I like water. Bottles are wasteful though.
- #75 Threatening to Move to Canada--Hahahaha. Yes!
- #74 Oscar Parties--I'm all about the glam!
- #73 Gentrification--Hate the idea of it, but I admit I'm into cute gentrified neighborhoods.
- #72 Study Abroad--Cambridge University was the best summer of my life.
- #71 Being the only white person around--What do I care?
- #70 Difficult Breakups--Fuck no. I'm ready for something that lasts.
- #69 Mos Def--Mos definitely not.
- #68 Michel Gondry--Who?
- #67 Standing Still at Concerts--Only at Tori Amos concerts, during which I fall into a zombie-like trance. Otherwise I'm all about shakin' my ass.
- #66 Divorce--Only for my past bosses.
- #65 Co-Ed Sports--Sure, OK.
- #64 Recycling--Of course.
- #63 Expensive Sandwiches--Cheap food is good food.
- #62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People--I don't even know what's best for me.
- #61 Bicycles--Love 'em.
- #60 Toyota Prius--Growing on me.
- #59 Natural Medicine--Whenever possible.
- #58 Japan--Their history is so violent, but what a fascinating culture. I'm 50-50.
- #57 Juno--Haven't seen it.
- #56 Lawyers--I know a few, and they all defy the stereotypes.
- #55 Apologies--I'm sorry, but I apologize all the time.
- #54 Kitchen Gadgets--Yeah, this is true.
- #53 Dogs--Awwwww!! I want a puppy soooo bad!
- #52 Sarah Silverman--She's hilarious about half the time, over-the-top offensive the rest.
- #51 Living by the Water--If I could.
- #50 Irony--Schmirony.
- #49 Vintage--I like my shit new and sparkly.
- #48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops--Overpriced.
- #47 Arts Degrees--Master of Fine Arts here, bitch!
- #46 The Sunday New York Times--Best paper in the States.
- #45 Asian Fusion Food--I've never met a fusion I liked. Fusion food is like an edible focus group.
- #44 Public Radio--Yeah.
- #43 Plays--I like the idea, but I don't like sitting on my bony ass for three to four hours.
- #42 Sushi--NO!
- #41 Indie Music--Regina Spektor used to be indie, right?
- #40 Apple Products--I have three iPods.
- #39 Netflix--It's like Communism: Good in theory, but in practice Netflix has never worked for me. I queue up things I *should* watch but are depressing as hell, and they just sit around gathering dust. I canceled my subscription years ago.
- #38 Arrested Development--Never seen it.
- #37 Renovations--I'm terrible at any kind of maintenance.
- #36 Breakfast Places--What, like IHOP? Nothing beats it at 3am. I've never met a Waffle House in which I didn't think I was going to be beaten to death by rednecks.
- #35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report--Never seen either.
- #34 Architecture--Makes my heart soar.
- #33 Marijuana--Not a fan personally, but whatever.
- #32 Vegan/Vegetarianism--I respect those who don't murder innocent creatures. Me, I eat 'em with lots of salt.
- #31 Snowboarding--Good way to break a leg.
- #30 Wrigley Field--Ugh, more sports?
- #29 80s Night--I can't dance to '80s music.
- #28 Not having a TV--What the hell would I do without So You Think You Can Dance and Project Runway?!
- #27 Marathons--Flat feet, crooked legs do not a runner make.
- #26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)--YES!!!
- #25 David Sedaris--He's hilarious, but I prefer Amy!
- #24 Wine--It's growing on me.
- #23 Microbreweries--I hate beer.
- #22 Having Two Last Names--No, but I like having two first names.
- #21 Writers Workshops--MFA in *CREATIVE WRITING* bitches.
- #20 Being an expert on YOUR culture--I have no culture.
- #19 Traveling--I love to see the world. :-)
- #18 Awareness--Hahhahaa. Lame!
- #17 Hating their Parents--I love love love my parents. They are my best friends!
- #16 Gifted Children--If I had kids, I'm sure I'd think they were. Every person who ever told me their kids were gifted had really dumb kids.
- #15 Yoga--I want to try it.
- #14 Having Black Friends--Hey, I'm happy to have any friends. I don't really care if they're black, yellow, red, green. My only requirements are: 1) Be famous; 2) Be hot; 3) Be rich; 4) Pass the hummer test. (Kidding!)
- #13 Tea--I'm a caffeine addict. I love English breakfast tea. Not a fan of green; hate chamomile.
- #12 Non-Profit Organizations--I've worked for them all my adult life.
- #11 Asian Girls--Hey, they invented bukkake, right?!
- #10 Wes Anderson Movies--Not particularly.
- #9 Making you feel bad about not going outside--Huh?
- #8 Barack Obama--Cautiously. He seems like a good guy, but he is a politician, after all.
- #7 Diversity--Heterogeneousness is good.
- #6 Organic Food--Sure, OK, but I'm 30, so what's the point at this point?
- #5 Farmer’s Markets--I prefer not to interact with people whenever possible. An online farmer's market would be awesome, though.
- #4 Assists--Um, whatever.
- #3 Film Festivals--I've never been to one. Cannes looks fun!
- #2 Religions their parents don’t belong to--I'm intrigued by the lemmingness of all organized religions.
- #1 Coffee--In fact, I just got a lecture from my doctor about cutting back on my coffee drinking.
That's very clever. I scored an 84. Most of the points I lost were for pop-culture stuff. I thought Juno was stupid, and the Wire is like a boring version of Law & Order.
ReplyDeleteThanks for a fun time with the survey!